negative blogs

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I have people wonder why my blogs are kind of depressing or negative in nature.

I have noticed over the years things like suicide,children abuse,women abuse among other things are swept under the rug.I have read,seen,heard about the villain is set free to attack another person.I am fed up with our justice system and the way they are set free.

how can someone sleep well at night and not worry during the day if it won't happen again and again.theses are ruined soul and sometimes can't be repaired-it only really pisses me off how people have no care about other living soul around them.

they only think of them self and don't care who they ruin and destroy in the process.so if you think my blogs are negative or depressing then think about the victims who lives has been taken from them and now i will post much more untill people wake up and look around them and starting to help others.reach out your hand give then hope and help them with the healing process.

one of the reason they never heal cause they have no one who will help them heal or someone who can drive them to get healed. or just be there for them

stop looking the other way and stop hiding your head under the ground like an ostrich-cause if you know about it or see it and do nothing about it you are just as guilty,its like you also committed the same act.

i have no sympathy for people like that and i think they should lock them up and throw away the key.and wait and let them die a slow death or put them in the same cell as bubba.or let the whole proson know what they did and that will save alot of tax payers money.

just my 2 cents and alot more to come so people hold onto your seats cause more blogs are on the way and you have not heard nothing yet.
so be prepared.

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this is only the beginning and help is on the way who needs it and needs it bad.somewhere they know they can go and feel safe.and start the healing process.my goal is to provide the addresss and links they can go to start the healing process.

meeting people on the internet

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you know the Internet has come along ways since i came on back in 2001 and i know people who has been on longer alot longer than i have.and they will tell you the same.

look at the different ways of meeting people-you yahoo,msn,pal talk,most of your Internet carriers also has chat rooms,pogo.com,and other game sites.the list goes on and on and there is just so many ways.

first of all you have to be careful,there is scam artists,hackers and people who some people will willing give information to thinking they are getting something in return for nothing. but my friend there i really geniune peopel on the internet who are looking for friends,love or just someone to talk to.sometimes they outweigh the bad.you just have to becareful and always remember this is a place anyone can be whatever they want and whoever they want and they can post false profiles and fake pictures.(believe me i know)and i am sure alot of you has run into someone whose pic is different than what they really look like.it is so easy to do,but it does happen,but don't let one bad person ruin your interest on the net.then you can buy just about anything on the internet.majority of your stores has internet access onto their online site. it has gotten you never have to ever leave your house for any reason.convient or have we just gotten lazy?

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we have gotten addicted to the internet and it has taken over our lives and we forget our family,our kids,and our jobs.there is a power button for a reason.it time we start using it and get back involved in life.

now i understand the elderly,the disabled,the handicapped this tool has help them to stay in touch with the outside world while they are shut ins and this may be the only way to be able to talk to someone and make friends.so at least you feel like you are still apart of life.(there is always exceptions to the rules)and they are the exception. good or bad we need to balance our life accordingly and if you are not a shut in and are able to get out of the house take advantage of it before you find yourself not being able to.

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LET ME BE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

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this song says it all pretty much.ever get tired of people trying to mold you to what they think you should be like?

your friends,your spouses,your boyfriend or girlfriend,your parents or your co-workers or your boss and the list goes on and on and it gets longer and longer.

pretty soon, you no longer know who you are and your dreams and thoughts are someone elses.we are miserable and somewhere along the way if you are one of the lucky ones you finally get tired of it all.
You finally take a look in the mirror and realize this is not you and you are tired of being someone else and you are tired of people molding you into what they want you to be.

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we have missed some opportunities or missed out on some things we could have enjoyed because we want to please the other person and it doesn't fit into the mold they have you in.

its time you look into that mirror and take a long hard look and are you happy with what you have become,and are you who you want to be.remember only you can make yourself happy.

you are the only person who knows what you really like and you should be able to think for yourself and live your life.

don't get caught up in someone who tells you what person you should see or tell you who to hang out with.life is to short and we only have this life to live.so live and be what you want to be and be who you are.

LET ME BE MYSELF-should be your motto-if you want to go a particular church you should,or to a certain club or to a certain restaurant or its not cool to hang out with a certain person because they are fat,skinny,ugly,pretty,tall,short or they have a different life style or they poor or rich,old or young,or handicapped or disabled or just different. its your choice who you want as a friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend or who you want to marry. its your choice and thats the way it should be.(but most time it isn't)and that is a shame!!!!!

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CHILD ABUSE

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this IS A subject that is dear to my heart.I have known many abused children and alot of grown people who was abused as children.I have witness it first hand as well.it is a very serious matter and still there is alot of it still going on unreported and people not wanting to get involved.

children everyday die that needs not to have died.its easy turn one back or turn the other way.If you ever get a chance to talk to someone who grew up in a situation like that you would maybe understand why we need to make a stand against child abuse. the stories are true and it will make you cry to hear the stories and sick at the same time,work with kids that has been abused is heart rending and it tears at your very soul to look at a young child whose arm was severely dislocated,the bruised face,the swollen face where you can't even recognize them,the burns they suffer,the beatings and then there is the one you don't see.

the mental abuse is something that will never heal and its with you the rest of your life.you are never the same and the nightmares only get worse and you wake up screaming and cowering in fear.it takes years of therapy and learning how to live again without fear.the fear can be control but it is always there waiting to rear its ugly head.
there are several hotlines that is available to the public and many websites to help.

be the one in your neighborhood to stand up for theses children who can't help themself and if you know of someone please call 911 or call a hotline if you don't want to directly get involved.

National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD
1 (800) 422-4453

Call your local law enforcement agency or 911 if the situation is a life-threatening emergency.

Call Centralized Intake at 1-800-222-8000 (Nationwide)
the situation you are reporting is an emergency;
* you prefer to remain anonymous;
* you have insufficient data to complete the required fields using this system; or
* the suspected abuse/neglect you are reporting occurred outside the state of Mississippi, and you do not know how to contact the state where it occurred.

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline

http://www.ndvh.org/

http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/child-abuse/child-abuse-hotlines-phone-numbers.html

this is really serious and it is getting worse and there is still several cases that goes unreported a year.

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Please stop the abuse,if only one child is saved from this blog then i have accomplished what  my mission is and that is to help one child at a time.and if each and everyone of us do that then that number will rise and something can be done to stop-we won't get all of them but just one child at a time is one less child that is being abused.one less child that will die,one less child that will have to carry the scars,one less child that won't be mentally unstable the rest of their life. just one child if we all can just help one child that will add up to hundreds and even thousands in no time at all.

it should not hurt to be a child!!!!!!!!!!

MY LIFE as a whole.

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i realize through my blogs it sounds like i have a rough life and i feel sorry for myself.far from it and i will be the first to tell you that i have accomplished more in my 49 years then i can ever imagine that i would.

as a child i been to San Diego zoo the biggest in the world,Yellowstone national state park,Guam,wake island,Hawaii,and lived in the Philippines for 2 years.plus lived in Texas,California,Oregon and then Washington state.

I joined the army national guards when i was a junior in high school and was send to fort Dix,new jersey that summer.then that winter of 79-80 we had 8 feet of snow dumped on us and in the spring mt.st Helen's blew her top.graduated from Stevenson high school,Stevenson Washington and then that summer i went to fort Jackson,south Carolina for food specialist course.

by may of 1981 i joined the u.s army and was send to fort bliss,Texas for air defense artillery school which i went from 94b to 16r. then that summer i was send to spangdahlem AFB west Germany and stayed there until December 1985.I got to toured all over Europe and went to other schools and it was fun and the training was intense and i loved my job and the time in Europe.i been to Austria,Denmark,Luxembourg,Belgium,France,and all over Germany. then i was send to fort Polk,Louisiana as my next duty station. i was there for a year then i was send camp hovey,south Korea.
I got to go fishing on the yellow sea got to go to japan,Okinawa,Guam,wake island and even Alaska and of course Hawaii again.i ended up back at fort polk,louisiana after a year in Korea.i was at fort Polk for a year than i went to fort Benjamin Harrison,Indiana for recruiting school. (00R)

THEN I was station at port Arthur,Texas recruiting station outside of Beaumont Texas.our headquarters was at Houston,Texas.after 6 months there i ended up at fort hood,Texas where i spend 6 months at the hospital until my medical retirement took effect and i could be well enough to go home.

I went back to leesville,Louisiana and made my home there until 1992 then i moved to Alexandria,Louisiana until 1995 where i moved to biloxi,Mississippi and by 2002 i made my permanent home in d'iberville,Mississippi where i had a house built for myself and my family.

currently my daughter and my grandson lives with me and he is fun and a big handful at times.but i love him to death.

Since i have been here i have still travelled quite a bit-i go over to Alabama quite a bit.i use to go new Orleans and baton rouge and lafayette when i first got here but i changed direction to north and to the east more.

been to the grand canyon and the petrified forest,las Vegas where my sister lives,went to visit a friend up at Nebraska,and to Florida several times and north to Ohio to visit another friend.went to myrtle beach south Carolina last year.
so i still planning on another trip just don't know where yet.so i do enjoy my life despite everything else going on.as long as i am alive i will live.

Just 1$ ....

1$

on a boring Sunday afternoon ...

... to really piss someone off on Monday morning!

REALITY

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Main Entry: re·al·i·ty
Pronunciation: \rē-ˈa-lə-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural re·al·i·ties
Date: 1550
1 : the quality or state of being real
2 a (1) : a real event, entity, or state of affairs (2) : the totality of real things and events b : something that is neither derivative nor dependent but exists necessarily
3 : television programming that features videos of actual occurrences (as a police chase, stunt, or natural disaster) —often used attributively
— in reality : in actual fact

taken from Merriam-Webster's online dictionary.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reality


reality is a part of life that we can't get rid of.
now there is some people who has a different picture of reality.
reality has a way of hitting you right in between the eyes. sometimes it has a way of telling you are wrong when you thought you was right.

REALITY is what you make of it and it also lets you see things as they are not what people what you to see.good example is all the oil that is in the gulf of Mexico-they say it is almost all gone and i wonder where all those million of gallons of crude oil went to.there has not been that much oil that has washed ashore. the reality is alot of it is still out there. the media doesn't always show you the reality that we know it,they have their own reality.

reality seen through the eyes of a child,a teen or an adult is all different.even reality is what it is but reality through the eyes of each person is going to be different.what i think is reality may not be what you perceive it to be.

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REALITY maybe its time we find out what reality really is-I don't mean the reality shows you see on television or movies or cable.even the media stretches out what reality really is.the newspaper reality is what sells and what doesn't and all we have left is just stories that sells and the reality is buried under all the garbage we have to shift through to get it.sometimes it is hard to find and reality gets a little out of focus and sometimes stretch out so much you are more confuse than when you started.

reality you know is like you lose someone,someone passes on, you have a child,you get married,you get divorce, thoses are realities you know 100 percent are real not mired by news or the internet but you see it and you know that as reality.outside of your life you have to figure out what is reality and not garbage.

welcome to my life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

sung by simple plan

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt0WP9ZBNiY

this song is how i feel alot-imagine that.

DIVORCES

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why has divorces continue to be on the rise.I mean our system is not design to keep couples together.lawyers profit from and kids suffer from it.

outside of abusive spouse or a cheating spouse there should not be a real reason for one,well i am sure many will disagree with me.

I am mainly talking about the couple that decides they will get married and if it don't work we get divorce.now if you go into a marriage already thinking that more in likely it will fail and you go on your very merry way.

I know that some states are starting to require you to go through counseling before getting divorce.

the problem i have with that is if you have cheating spouse or abusive spouse or even a spouse that has a drug addiction,an alcoholic,or an addiction they refuse to get for.
counseling would be a waste of time.

they say there is 3 major things that cause divorces.
1)money
2)sex
3)lack of comunication or none at all.

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then you have people who married for the simple fact of convience-like making ends meet but we can do whatever we want with whomever we want.this way we have more money and we can afford to do what we want.

I don't understand why get married when you can just live together.

ok we go into another problem-churches don't approve of living when you are not married.

divorce causes pain,distrust and sometimes hatred of the opposite sex and sometimes really deep depression and even suicide.

uncontrollable crying

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I have ever cried and cried and cannot explain why.

I don't mean the crying from a lost one or from a breakup or whan a child is born or when somebody gets married.

I mean right out of the blue you are so down and you start crying and crying for no known reason.you wish it would go away but you seem to go deeper deeper down in the dumps.

people ask you where does it hurt or what is wrong? how do u explain it when you don't even know yourself.I end up hiding in my room for no one understands and when they see it it makes them upset or some will say you are trying to get attention. that is the one thing i get tire of hearing is he is trying to get attention. if i wanted attention i would run down the middle of the street yelling and no clothes on. but you have to hide in your room so no one knows but you.for its not anyones fault or no blame to anyone.it happens and it sucks to high heaven.

you want the pain in your heart to go away,you want the depression that is bringing it on to go away. you would do about anything to get rid of the crying.yes even it means ending your life-I have problem with ending my life i made a promised not to do again and i will stick to my promise come hell or high water.so where does that put me-i reckon in limbo not living but not dying.you are just there and glad another day has ended and dread when morning comes.and it starts all over again. somedays i have a good morning or a good afternoon-but it seems it is always evening time when i am at my worse. one day just one day is all i ask that i can have a wonderful day and nothing to bring me down.

just one day is all i ask.

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'Daddy ... it hurts'

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen.
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All day long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear him curse,
My name is called,
I press myself,
Against the wall.

I try to hide,
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.



He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.

He's already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my dad continues,
With more bad words spoken.

'I'm sorry!', I scream,
But it's now much to late,
His face has been twisted,
Into a unimaginable sh ape.

The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!

And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Chris,
I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

written by unknown

child abuse hurts everyone help a child today.

depression and doctor and HMO.

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This is my complaint for the day.if you are not a 100% disabled vet like myself and you are paying for mental health and seeking help help i commend you.

but i also understand why so many people don't.
Alot of insurances don't cover it or if they do its not much.

I know someone who has 2 insurances and it will pay for surgery or any other care without a copay. the problem even with theses 2 insurances in order to see an psychiatrist or a Psychologist this person has to come up with over $200.00usd before even being seen.that is the copay they have to pay.

now tell me what is wrong with this picture and explain to me why having 2 insurances will not pay more or even the whole thing.

they will tell you if you have 2 insurance policies you should never be charged with any kind health care ie surgery,broken bones, yearly physical,mammograms,prostrate exam,cancer,heart surgery to name a few expensive treatments.

my point is your insurances covers pretty much everything and when you have 2 you suppose not have to pay anything.(now i know some people might disagree with me and might have 2 insurance and still have to pay something
and i don't doubt it,i am mainly talking about myself and the few people i know that this refers to.)

I can't speak for all insurances for there is many and i have no knowledge of them.nor will i mention the above companies for maybe its not all cases that it affects.

I can only speak about the few cases i do know about now with that being said this is not a knock on all insurance companies.

back to my story-how can someone with mental illness get help when one they can't afford it or maybe if it has kept them from working there is a big chance they can't even afford it.

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if you are not in this situation i would call your HMO or your insurances and see what they do carry and how much the copay so you will not be in for a surprise.even if today you are not suffering from any mental condition,how about your kids or your spouse. make sure they are covered just incase.

I don't wish this on anyone child or adult,it could happen and maybe it will never happen.

same sex relationships

here is another subject that politicians make a stance on-either for or against.

my personal belief is I don't like it,but in the same sentence I have nothing against the person who is.its not the person i don't like but its the act i am against.its the same way with some one who is a adulterer or they drink-i am not against them they are still my friend it is the thing that they do i don't like.

I feel everyone has the right to be what they want to be and who they want to be with.I don't understand it but its not for me to understand.my friends all i ask is you be honest with me and not be ashamed of it.for i will not condemn you or give you a long lecture for i am pretty sure you have heard all of it by now.

you see i once had a friend for years i did not know he was interested in the same sex,to make it worse because i didn't know when we went out i would try to set him up with a very pretty lady. that went on for several years and when i asked him if he did not care for females his reply was yes.
well one day out of the blue he came to me and said he was gay.
i asked him why he never said anything to me before now.he claims that i would stop being his friend.i told him that would never happened.well needless to say we are no longer friends,i did not stop being his friend he stopped being my friend.

like i said i don't have to like the things you do,but once your are my friend you are my friend.

you have my sympathies for people have no shame and they will pick on you and call you names and sometimes even your own family members will turn against you.
i have seen so much crap in my lifetime and i have see some things i had no business seeing-that s just being in the military and the things you see right there in the barrack things you would think you would only see downtown redlight district.
but enough of my raving for tonight.

abortion?????????????

now i know this a very touchy subject to many people who are for it and who are against it.

politicians make a stand for it or against it and you have right for life organization and ect ect.well i have a problem with the procedures with which it is done.THE doctor are in it for one thing and one thing only and its the money.

you can't blame them since there is a long list of clients waiting for them to do it.as long as their is women who wants it done they will be there to get it done.but the bottom line is the procedure-they line up the women put then in a table go through the procedure and then pass them along so they can get on to the next one.

abortion is solely up up to the person or persons who want them-instead of putting them down how about talking to them during this time-for i know it was a not an easy choice for them.they need counselling not condemnation.

whether you approve of it or not it is their decision and they need support. we don't know why they are doing it nor should you care-it is their body and they have to suffer the aftermath.
this post is not to condemn nor is it to approve of the procedure.
women I have one question for you before you decide to get an aboltion.
research the clinic you are going to-make sure it is sterile and that she offer counselling afterwards.that you not just another number and that they follow up to make sure they have removed all of the fetus,and that there is no infections.yes i understand there is good clinics and i will tell you there is bad ones as well. I have heard to many horror stories than literally makes me sick.leaving parts of the fetus inside and cause the woman much pain and later death from septic poisoning.

or another instances she bled to death cause they perform the procedure and push her out the door.I am not here to condemn you or try to talk you out of it.I just want you to be careful and choose the right doctor and clinic.even though this is 2010 there is still places that don't care about your health just the money.

so please please please research research research before you jump at the first clinic you see.

and for you people who loves to condemn and have nothing to do with the women afterwards-WHAT WOULD JESUS DO????? he would forgive them and enfold them in his arms and give them nothing but love.

you don't know the situation of any of thoses women who made this choice and sometimes it may not be their choice. be more considerate and supportive,you don't have to like it nor do you have to accept it-just be there for them.

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failure as parents"?

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where ever you go or whatever you do there is someone that will tell you how to raise your kids and what you are doing wrong.You go to the bookstore,library or online you will find books galore to tell you what you are doing right or wrong or how to do it.

kids do not come with an instruction manuals when they are born.you learn from your parents or friends or you just learn as you go.books are not design for every child out there.most parenting book is usually based around how they raise their kids.each kid is different and what might work on one child does not work on the other.

if you are using parenting books to help you raise your child,let me tell you right now that you will fail or will not be able to meet their expectation of what makes a good parent. the books will help some parents but not all.

if we try to compare our self to our parents or your friends and you fall short of what kind of parent they are you are setting yourself up for failure.

we see some kids with designer shoes,clothes and the latest gadgets and electronics devices.we can't afford these nice luxury things.if we do we will go in debt or we will just have to go without the basic necessities.

does that make us failures as parent,no it does not-not everyone can afford the latest devices or the newest game or buy a wii,x-box,playstation 3 or a really expensive computer.

we do the best we can with the money we have and the know how and provide them with food,clothes and a roof over their head.we make sure they see a doctor and a dentist to keep them healthy and have a healthy smile as well.
yes sometimes we lose out temper,sometimes we don't always make our kids happy.

but a failure that does not make. nothing wrong with advice if that is all it is,and we can decide if that is the best route for our child.

the failure comes in when we can't get everything we want for our child,or we feel and start second guessing our self like should I have send my child to his room for a time out,should i not of punished them or was i to harsh or not harsh enough.

stop second guessing yourself,stop listening to all the negative things you hear from someone who thinks they can do better.

we are human and we will make mistakes and we will learn from our mistakes.
just take it one day at a time and stop being so hard on yourself.

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thoughts of suicide

you know a day don't go by that i don't think about it.the thought never goes away.you wonder how i deal with it-well sometimes i have someone i can talk to and I do talk to my doctor in mental health regularly.i deal with it the best way i can and there is suicide hot lines that has helped me.
my wish is that one day i can wake up one day and the thoughts would be gone even if it is for one day.people still stay their distances from me and 99 percent of the time i am alone and i fight this struggle alone.ever since may when i had my incident people still walk on egg shells around me and alot of people completely ignored me altogether. i don't blame them for this whatsoever.i hold no resentment,its something i am use to and i understand why people do this.its been a big part of my life since 1989.
after a time you get use to it-i don't like it but i accept it-i just can't get past the point that life is more important to me than death. over the years the numerous times that i have failed i look up and some people think i should be grateful-well i don't know anymore-maybe if they understood the suffering i go through on a daily basis-you can't put a band aide or take an aspirin and it is better.between anti-depressants,bi-polar meds,anxiety meds and alot of other stuff and therapy that i continue to go through i feel what am i doing wrong,why is nothing not working? i keep myself busy working in the yard,i have hobbies,i read alot,i work inside the house,i go to the store and sometimes i go for drives and i go to therapy.maybe after all theses years we just haven't found the right combinations of pills,when we do they work for a while then i am right back in the dumps.I try to keep up a cheerful disposition so she don't worry about me-yes she knows of my problems and we have talked about it.but there is nothing she can do but be there for me.so she don't worry so much about me i keep alot to myself and she knows this.as long as i see my doctor and seek help when i get to that point again she is contend that as long as i know thoses things and take my meds she knows i am trying which i am. but i also know she keeps an eye on me-i just not suppose to know that-she keeps me involve in the family-we have dinner together and she have me look at her art and she knows that makes me happy.so she helps to get things off my mind-but i also know she needs to rest as well and have a piece of mind.she and my son both have been there for me as well as i have been there for them.so it all goes hand in hand.

also allowing myself to type this down helps me to get it out someway and i also feel better afterwards.so this is my journal so to speak but what ever it takes to get it out and i can speak my mind and lay it out on print i can use this has a gauge to see if i am getting better or getting worse.then i know where to go from there.also allow my doctor see what i am feeling that day and we can go from there as well.maybe its a different kind of therapy and it seems to help a lot.get things off my chest and i can express myself without worrying people and never having to worry if anyone is around i can talk to. so welcome to my life.