I really haven't took the time to put this on this page as of yet.i have no ideal how many people actually read my blogs if any at all.(well i know of one)thank you lisa for leaving comments-at least i know of one person.
anyway here i go rambling again.i want to take this time to blog in this space my thanks.
I am one of the many victims from hurricane katrina,who just happened to survived as well as the many thousands others.
this is not what this about.
I want to thank everyone from volunteers,laborers,donators(if this is a word)whether you handed out water,ice,food(mres)hot food,cold food,trash picker upper,people who donated time,money,food ,water,clothes,books(If not for the books i would totally of lost my mind.)
my thanks goes out to even the ones who even just prayed.prayers to me is the most important thing.
the first time i got some cold cold water i thought i was in heaven.then slowly we got some food,than we got some hot food.we were slowly returning to this time era.we lose everything its like in the old old days when there was no electricity,no running water,no bathrooms at all,no building to call home.
then one day we woke up and we heard them,the telephone trucks,the electric truck,the tree remover trucks,red cross,truck loads after truck loads of ice and water,and than the food,then the clothes and other supplies,yes lines were long,people were never turned away untill they ran out of supplies,the trucks just kept coming.our heartfelt thanks goes to everyone of you and my prayers goes out to you and your.may GOD bless you now and forever.
the volunteers pour out over our cities,counties and states like locust.they were welcomed with open arms and alot of graditude. you all know who you are-thank you, thank you, thank you-
i can never say it enough.for once it proves that the world as a whole join together and helped out us who faced a major crisis. thank you(Dankie ,Faleminderit,Thoinks, Moite!, gràcies, merci,
Kia Manuia ,Dekuji,Danke sehr,Efkaristo poly,Grazie tanto, Domo arrigato ,Kamsa hamaida,Takk ,Salamat ,Maraming Salamat ,Spasiba,Gracias a todos,Muchas gracias ,)
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Funny-The Worst
THE WORST HIJACKINGWe shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose from his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage. "Take me to Detroit," he demanded. "We're already going to Detroit," she replied. "Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again.
THE WORST BANK ROBBERYIn August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.
THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUEDuring the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!!
THE WORST INSURANCE This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade,and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare andexpensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued .. and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyerheld a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unaccep table fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
THE WORST BANK ROBBERYIn August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.
THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUEDuring the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!!
THE WORST INSURANCE This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade,and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare andexpensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued .. and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyerheld a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unaccep table fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
Wrong email address
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!
Where to bury mother-in-law
Heres a joke emailed to me just this morning:
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, You can have her shipped home for £5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for £150.
The man thought about it and told the undertaker that he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, Why would you spend £5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only £150.
The man replied, A long time ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later He rose from the deadI just cant take that chance.
Filed under Jokes by The Jester.
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, You can have her shipped home for £5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for £150.
The man thought about it and told the undertaker that he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, Why would you spend £5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only £150.
The man replied, A long time ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later He rose from the deadI just cant take that chance.
Filed under Jokes by The Jester.
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes
As we marvel at the bravery of Nepalis who faced down a usurper andbrutal King, and nurse our longing for People Power 4, may I inviteyou to rest your mind and have a laugh with this:
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes(Must Read Out Loud)
1) Thats not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive = Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum Hia
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
9) Its Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) I Thought you were on a diet = Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone = No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week = Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight = Lei Ying Lo
14) Hes cleaning his automobile = Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive = Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great = Fa Kin Su Pah
Filed under Jokes by The Jester.
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes(Must Read Out Loud)
1) Thats not right = Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive = Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP = Kum Hia
4) Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach = Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
9) Its Very dark in here = Wai So Dim
10) I Thought you were on a diet = Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone = No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week = Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight = Lei Ying Lo
14) Hes cleaning his automobile = Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive = Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great = Fa Kin Su Pah
Filed under Jokes by The Jester.
The Parrot
Wandas dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, Ill leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and Ill mail you a check.
Oh, by the way dont worry about my bulldog. He wont bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!
When the repairman arrived at Wandas apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldnt contain himself any longer and yelled, Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!
To which the parrot replied, Get him, Spike!
Filed under Jokes by The Jester.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, Ill leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and Ill mail you a check.
Oh, by the way dont worry about my bulldog. He wont bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!
When the repairman arrived at Wandas apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldnt contain himself any longer and yelled, Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!
To which the parrot replied, Get him, Spike!
Filed under Jokes by The Jester.
The philosophy of Charles Schultz
The philosophy of Charles Schultz
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the Peanuts comic strip.
You dont have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through and youll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.6. Name the last decades worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Heres another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
Filed under Inspirational by The Jester.
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the Peanuts comic strip.
You dont have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through and youll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.6. Name the last decades worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Heres another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
Filed under Inspirational by The Jester.
rain
it has been so wet here in Mississippi.it has been driving me crazy. on wednesday we recieved 4 to 5 inches of rain.yes everything was getting flooded. all I could think of was a flashback of hurricane katrina.we just got our house finish and i was watching this water slowly rising.all i could do was watch it,but thank God it did not rise very high,even though the streets and my yard was flooded.
I pray one day when it rains like that that I don't keep thinking about hurricane katriana.yes i guess you can say i still have nightmares.and i have a feeling i always will untill the day i die. oh well live goes on.
I pray one day when it rains like that that I don't keep thinking about hurricane katriana.yes i guess you can say i still have nightmares.and i have a feeling i always will untill the day i die. oh well live goes on.
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